Sunday, 30 September 2012

What I'm learning along the way

What did I learn this week?

A whole lot!  Last week I discovered our need to slow down and I have been working on that (okay this week was a bit busier than expected).  The children are now clearing their places at the table and helping unload the dish washer.  We are more often tidying away toys before we move on.  I have also been reading lots of articles over at The Parenting Passageway.  I am trying to keep my own emotions and reactions in check, along with having more realistic expectations from my boys.  I am using a quieter voice when I can remember and I'm trying to help the children problem solve instead of reacting to the behaviour (like pushing).  So far it is going okay but no one ever warns you just how exhausting it is to be on top of things and in the moment all day long!  I am giving myself some grace and relying on God's strength each day.

In our home we strive to use gentle/positive parenting.  I am reading and learning more about it as we go along so I need patience with all of use as we often slip back to our old ways of shouting, threats, time-outs, punishments, etc.  It may not resonate with everyone but for us we see the benefits.  We want to model for our children how they should behave and how we want them to be as they grow.  Besides we've tried everything with our boys and when we push harder they push back and it all blows up worse.  Coaching and guiding (at least with TJ) seems to get a much better reaction.

Just yesterday as I was hanging our cloth diapers TJ came over to me and said: "Mommy my body told me that if I see someone doing work all by their self I should help them," and then he worked happily beside me.  Later in the day MJ had made a mess of the play kitchen.  On his own TJ started to put everything away with his toy loader.  I suggested that it was MJ's mess but TJ said he wanted to clean it. I need to treasure these moments (especially since he bite MJ really hard on the arm later that same day)

I have noticed that TJ is awakening to the idea that perhaps our bodies sometimes tell us to do the wrong thing and we need to think about our actions.  He is just beginning to get it, but has told me before that his body told him to do it (hit, bite...) and then we talk about how we should listen to God's voice instead.  I never imagined these conversation when I thought of having kids.  What a privilege to be part of their most intimate thoughts.

I am so thankful with where our journey is taking us.  In discovering Waldorf education I am really working on my own inner work.  The lessons and activities for the kids are not the end but just a means to provide some structure to our day and a platform to work on their development (sharing, movement, imaginations).  I do still need to figure out how to balance the daycare, company work, my own crafts, personal time, house work,  and everything in between.  I am just keeping my head above water most days and the business side of things is being sorely neglected.  Jon is also crazy busy with work.  We do look forward to things settling down a little.

This is the perfect time for me to be working on inner work, family and rhythms before we get into academics.  I am so glad to have this year to really enjoy our young boys and work on things now.

Hope things are going well with al of you.  I'd love to hear what you are learning!

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