Dear Weary Mom,
You have been on my mind for a while now. I have been thinking about what to write you for two days now. I haven't blogged in months because I am having issues loading photos. Tonight the Lord brought me to the end of myself so that I could share how "Hope for the Weary Mom" has made such a difference in my life.
I will not go into details of what is making me weary. You know. You are there too. It could be financial, relationships, children, a season of life, too much on the go, or a combination of many things that has brought you to this weary place. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! This was one of the most powerful things that hit me and made a difference when I did this study (twice now). I have God with me always and hundreds, probably millions, of other weary moms going through the exact same things I am.
Tonight I was making homemade yogurt after a fail attempt last weekend. Let's just say that using a Canadian thermometer and and American recipe meant I was trying for hours to get my milk hotter than it could and ruined another batch of rather hard to find and expensive ingredients (for where I live). That was what threw me over the edge. I burst into tears and collapsed on the couch. My poor young boys tried to cheer me up. My older son (4.5years old) offered some encouraging words of not giving up and trying again. My younger son (2.5years old) brought me a toy and a drink of water. After a not so kindly worded reminder even helped get ready for bed.
While I was flaked out on the couch (really it was only for like 3 min) voices filled my head:
"I can't believe you messed up again"
"You can't afford to be wasting money like this"
"Your kids are watching"
"You still have to clean up the mess in the kitchen, and fold laundry"
"Hey what about xyz that you still haven't done today"
"I went to all this trouble to make this for my boys."
"I will never figure out what their digestive issues are."
"I should just give up and quite trying so hard with everything"
"Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets. Luke 5:5"
That last voice cut through my pain. I remembered reading about Peter's fishing experience in "Hope for the Weary Mom". Then other verses and things I had read came to mind.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me."
"Do not grow weary of doing good."
" I am not alone"
" Maybe I'm just tired"
"Perhaps God is using this experience for something good"
"Hey I could write about this"
Well I got up and got the boys to bed. I determined to take just one more step. My boys were so sweet with their prayers too. Then I came write over to write to you.
Honestly I can tell you that last year I would have sobbed for ages, screamed at the kids while getting them into bed, cried out the the Lord in anger and held a grudge for a few days. The difference? My new found hope. Over the last 10 weeks I have been constantly reminded of how much I am loved. That I am so not alone in this weary walk. That God can bring me through incredible circumstances. That God can use our lives for His glory and others' benefit too. I reconnected with my God and felt more confident in my own abilities as a mother. Being reminded that I am not perfect, I will make mistakes, this road is hard, and the other moms around me aren't perfect either (in fact they are probably just as weary as I am) me makes me feel more empowered and encouraged!
So I thank Stacey and Brooke for sharing their lives with us. I thank Megan for leading this year's study. And I pray for you, Weary Mom, that you may find hope and hold on to it with everything you've got.
PS This post is linked to Hope for the Weary Mom week 10 link up....